Something Else, Perhaps?

Is all of this preparation getting you hungry? Stop by Chez Dynamitegun and pick up some quick recipes for truly Dynamite Snacking ideas.

Dynamitegun Snack Guide

How about you go peruse the examples of what you can do when you put your mind to it, which could only be hacking your stupid stock Wii Controller?

Civilian WiiMote Hacking Guide

Don't feel up to the task of Preparing for the ultimate survival exercise? It's ok. Most people can't handle that the first time around. How about you warm up a little bit on some short articles, and come back here when you're ready? No, no...you're doing...you're doing fine.

Short Articles

back to main

Budiak's Bag: Items 23-28

I know it's been quite a journey, but you've made it. These last six items might...nay...will make the difference between life after the fall and being a statistic. Enjoy.

Item Twenty-Three: Machete

The Most Knife Four Dollars Can Buy At The Flea Market

This weapon has been wielded by some of the greatest icons in the action/adventure/horror world. Indiana Jones. Jason Vorhees. Paul Hogan. I wouldn't want to know a world full of the undead (or vines) that didn't have a machete in it. It even came with a sheath. A deadly bargain indeed. Also for opening large mail.

Item Twenty-Four: Ketchup Bottle Full of Gasoline

Squeezable Octane

Gasoline...it fuels the world and it will fuel the world beyond the blast. It can be used to do so many things that it would be an insult to utility itself to attempt to list the uses. The bottle is small, durable, and is the perfect delivery system for that dino-juice that you crave so dearly. Though this isn't exactly enough to fill a tanker truck, it is worth its weight in gold, the value of which of course, in the future, will be measured in ketchup bottles of gasoline.

Item Twenty-Five: Lineman's Pliers

The Last Tool You Need in the Last Days

I cannot stress highly enough how important these are. Using this manual marvel you can immediately malign even the most malicious mechanical menace. Perfect for lifting hot things and for breaking fingers in trade for information, you will never be without the perfect tool for the job. They even come with a handy belt-loop holster and rubberized grips to stay close and in your hands when things get hairy. And things will get hairy.

Item Twenty-Six: Headwrap

One-piece Disguise Kit

In case the apocalypse was brought upon by terrorist action, this might confuse a group of aggressors long enough for me to either make my escape or score a sweet backstab bonus. Given my Italian facial hair and combined with the bronzer, I could fool even the wiliest jihadi. Also a delightful tablecloth.

Item Swenty-Seven: Twine

190 Feet of Function

If you need something tied up, look no further. Twine can take care of the heaviest-duty task. Whether you need to secure a third bag to your BOB, tie two shopping carts together for extra cargo space, or to make sure that glove full of ketchup doesn't leak, you can do it with Twine.

Item Twenty-Eight: Latex Glove Full of Ketchup

The Perfect Condiment

Combined with Item Eleven, it can create perfect flavor synergy in any dish.

Well, that's it. I hope that you had as much fun learning about what it takes to prepare for the end of the world as I did preparing this lesson. Now that you've made it the whole way through, I'll remember to look for you when the smoke clears and the dust settles. There's a mutated howl on the dusk horizon, and there's just you... and Dynamitegun.
Until next time.

All photographs on this site are the intellectual property of the webmaster unless otherwise stated. Please do not alter the images for distribution without the consent of the author at Budiak@dynamitegun.com. Thank you.
Dynamitegun.com 2008