Dynamitegun Exposes: The Stuff in My Fridge
Part Two
By Budiak
Let's just jump right on in here. Have you ever had the urge to eat some pickles?
I did, a while ago. I did what any responsible adult would do. I bought some pickles.
I bought halves, because I know I want more pickle than a spear or a pathetic flimsy
'sandwich slice', the 'Soylent Red' of pickles, as it were, so I went with the happy
medium. I went with halves. More robust than a spear, less commitment required than
a whole pickle.
Little did I know that I'd find Item Three.
Item Three: A Whole Pickle Found In A Jar Clearly Marked Halves
The horror! The horror....
Moving on quickly, quickly, man! Move it!
Now, after my pickle craving, I mysteriously had a craving for lima beans. I know, I know.
Eww? Nasty? No, I really enjoy the taste of a good lima bean. Note: a GOOD lima bean.
These you're about to see...not good lima beans. I know I probably sound like an
idiot. But guess what? It's almost time for bed, and I have a web page to update. So
here's some beans in your face!
Item Four: Seven Month Old Lima Beans
Yeah, you like that? You want me to be mean? How about round two?!
That liquid you see gathering there at the bottom of the bowl? Yeah. Not gravy, that's what that is. Those beans were in there probably about 7 months. That's how often I feel in the mood for lima beans. For some reason I bought about six bags of frozen lima beans. I don't even know why. Let that be a lesson for you: if you're going to let food rot in the back of the fridge make sure you bought it while taking advantage of a sale.
Sweet, Sweet Buttermilk and Nacho Cheese Bounty!
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