The Dynamitegun Guide to How to Travel to a Place, III!

And the plane lands...

Yes, the plane landed without a hitch. I had watched more Seinfeld than was humanly possible. I watched Appaloosa in its entirety. I watched Korean news show after Korean news show. I even bandied about the idea of watching a movie about Chinese-American ping-pong players. I had just begun to go completely stir crazy when touchdown occurred. At that point I could not have cared less if the plane touched down in the ocean, or a volcano, or an underwater volcano, in space (where my penn will STILL write, I may add). I had to run...we got our luggage, and were ushered hurriedly to the customs line. Oh, how amusing it was how they had the comedic integrity to refer to us Americans as 'foreigners' in the airport. Too cute, I say! After a much needed laugh, I had to go relieve myself, which is normally the case after a hearty chortle (and even the sustained giggle). What I found in the restroom was a truly horrific sight.

My word, it is some kind of roll cage around that toilet! Are you telling me that the Korean Populace has taken to off road racing sports so deftly that they feel the need to secure even the most pedestrian of devices? What on earth could possibly necessitate such a gross display of self-indulgence? Even in America we don't adorn toilets in this way. This is far worse than a solid black toilet, or even one of those toilets that you use to wash yourself after using the regular toilet. No...this was far too much. I saw this and I wished I'd never come.

So, with much more to be said, and countless more stories to be told to stoke the wonderment of the masses, I must end this tale. Life is good in Korea. The food is good, as long as you're on land, the service is fantastic, and almost all of them speak enough English to satisfy my stomach. I will leave with a few small souveniers though, photographic baubles, if you will. Proof, perhaps, that I am actually in Korea.
To start off, the first real picture of myself to grace the pages of Dynamitegun.com. Feast!

Yes. Milk soda. It actually exists! It tastes like a creamy Fresca, which, by the way, tastes like a creamy, flat Sprite!

So, apparently, the Korean Government thought that it was suitable to make the mascot for the DMZ observatory a charming little fellow with nothing but good things to say about the crushing economic atmosphere, governmental tyranny, and maniacal leadership of the North Korean regime. But hey, if you can't laugh about oppression, what CAN you laugh at? Right? RIGHT?

Lastly...and the final word here will lie in an old, almost forgotten language. I revelled in the fact that this advertisement was here, and I stood there looking like a highly amused idiot, framing photo after photo to make it just right, with dozens of Korean citizens passing me, wondering what the hell my problem was. Well, my problem was that I didn't have this image on my camera! And I was remedying that problem with much haste!

Back to page two of the Travelogue

See, if I had photoshop, that bun thumb would be the right size. Do you see the sacrifice I make for my country?

Back to page one of the Travelogue

Back to Main

All photographs on this site are the intellectual property of the webmaster unless otherwise stated. Please do not alter the images for distribution without the consent of the author at Budiak@dynamitegun.com. Thank you.
Dynamitegun.com 2008