U.S. Forces Europe Skim Milk

Tastes just like regular milk!

U.S. Forces Europe Milk. Say that to yourself. Say it.

Done getting over the bewilderment? When I first saw this product on the shelf of the Commissary, I wondered to myself, 'when did the government get into the dairy business?' Then, of course, the government has been in the dairy business for a long time. You know what government cheese is (probably). The government has had its tentacles in the refrigerator for a long time (probably). Think about it. Government cheese, WIC, pork barrel spending, K-Rations. But Army milk?

To be very honest, this milk isn't bad. To be just as honest as the previous sentence, this milk is nothing to write home about (but strangely enough, it IS something to write on your comedy website about). The skim milk in this carton is just as watery and tasteless as any other skim milk. In fact, how often do you actually contemplate the quality of your skim milk? When you buy skim milk you're settling for it. You want milk, but you don't want to drink a soybean, and putting water in your cereal is just wacky. You want milk but you don't want any of the flavor, creaminess, or mouth-feel of regular milk.

Perhaps the most interesting thing about this carton is the nutritional information, which is listed on the side of the carton in plain military fashion.

All that information on the side of a regular milk container is totally superfluous. Vitamins? Who needs vitamins? Vitamins are largely overrated, I guess. If you're worried about vitamins, I guess you just don't posess the true grit required for military service. You can't be concerned with micronutrient content if you're preoccupied with the minimum daily requirement of boron. I find it interesting that the government would require full disclosure of the nutritional content of any food product to the extent that they are now considering to make law that food products have the nutritional content of food products be displayed on the front of food packaging, but but the government's own products do not need any of that garbage. How do I know that the government made this? I don't, but it is highly suspicious. First off, there is no brand or 'packaged by' label stenciled on the package. U.S. Forces Europe is the brand? Possibly...possibly. But what a dry name for milk.

The Good

Tastes just as lousy as regular skim milk. Also, VERY cheap.

The Bad

Shady packaging, incomplete nutritional information. Orwellian in nature.

U.S. Forces Europe Skim Milk= 65%