398 Ways To Know That Where You're Going Sucks

So, yes, of course, it's no secret that I'm in the military. Big whoop. I recently moved from Korea to someplace...have I mentioned it? Good lord, I don't even know whats on my own site! Anyway, all memory lapses aside, I am now fast on my way to another big move...to a place... a place full of terrible dangers and exotic delights. This place is known as...The Suck.

No, it's actually called Afghanistan.
But when I was sent to Korea, which was a mere 50 years ago quite the suck, I was given something to remember my journey. I was given smallpox. Don't remember smallpox? Don't know what smallpox does? Here's a taste.

That little bit of gooey flesh in the center- the postule barely contained within itself, straining to burst at the slightest affront? That's the smallpox. The rest of the irritation is merely the result of having the afflicted area covered for two months.
They say that smallpox is supposed to scab up in a week and fall off within three. What a bunch of manure.

In addition to the Smallpox, I was given tuberculosis, tetanus, anthrax, typhoid, and a whole spate of other now defunct diseases. Typhoid? Nobody in America has died of typhoid since the Civil War. I get movement orders to Korea and all of a sudden typhoid is just the bee's knees, Mabel!

Now I'm going to Afghanistan. Great. I stood in like like a mook with my top off waiting for a shot for something that was last cured with some sort of tincture from a bottle with a handwritten label. I didn't get anything like that. No. Nothing like that.
Instead, I received a two pound bottle of light pink pills...for malaria. 398 doses. For Malaria. Isn't that the benchmark? Malaria is the it-girl when choosing a malicious airborne vector. So, what do 398 Malaria pills look like?

It doesn't look like much, really. Holding the bottle though, I can tell how big of a deal it actually is.

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